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HD7970GHZ
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HD7970GHZ "Primum Non Nocere"
 
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Default Mar 28, 2019 at 07:45 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buffy01 View Post
I completely understand how you feel! I do this all the time! I'm sorry that you are struggling right now! Have you thought about looking for some positive quotes to recite? Do some ground technique?
Thanks for sharing this.

I have a quote on my wall right now that I am using to turn my negative energy during flashbacks and triggers into something positive. It is something I heard on a distress line call.

The quote is, "Be your own hero."

I no longer want to look to fellow humans for the support I need. Instead, I look to myself and realize that I can help others and provide for others what has never been given to me. It helps to channel the negative energy into something, and so - every attempt I make to expose and or advocate for change in the healthcare system (because that is where my trauma happened), I feel a little bit better. It is also good to help others - even if only to inform others of potential hazards in therapy.

As all of us with trauma will understand - placing faith in our fellow humans can be recipe for disaster. While we can and sometimes DO find a hero who can help aid us in our recovery - it can also lead to further abuse. We make ourselves vulnerable when we desperately seek out relationships with others who can prove us wrong; that humans CAN be trusted... Subconsciously we can become entangled in similar relationship dynamics, through repetition compulsions, which unfortunately can lead us into further abusive relationships and ultimately, lead us further into the rabbit hole of isolation and hatred for humanity.

I have tried so hard to stop looking for this savior, but I haven't given up entirely on humans. I think there are good people out here who will not exploit us when we make ourselves vulnerable. That is what we need to heal. our trauma is interpersonal in nature and the argument is - the only way to heal it is in an interpersonal relationship...

I wish more of us found it.

My therapist said something the other day that I have really harnessed. She said, "everyday, ask yourself if you are living the life you want to live." When she said this I laughed - because of course I am not! I don't think many of us could! But since she said this, I have really pushed myself out of my comfort zone, taken baby steps with the intention of improving my life. She also touched on the topic of, "Post-Traumatic Growth." Something I have harnessed in the past, which led me to pursue the career I am currently in school for.

Going uphill is so hard - hoping and praying that each and every one of us gets free from our trauma and is able to move forward without the burden of the past.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

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"stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget"
"roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles"
"the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy"
"don't put all your eggs - in one basket"
"promote pleasure - prevent pain"
"with change - comes loss"

Last edited by HD7970GHZ; Mar 28, 2019 at 08:20 PM..
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