Sorry but I have a lot of things I want to say about this.
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Originally Posted by SilverTrees
This is a really interesting thread. Thanks BroccoliofLife!  Are some folks saying that if sexuality were to be a big part of a person's identity, that must mean that they are flaunting it somehow? Or am I misunderstanding? Some people are much more sexual than others but I don't think that would inherently mean bothering others with their sexuality, right?
I think of sexuality in the same way as other human traits and behaviors. Existing along a continuum with a lot of degrees of variation.
What would be an example of someone "flaunting their sexuality outside the bedroom?" I'm genuinely curious....so many different perceptions of sexuality! It fascinates me. I wonder if there's a good book on the topic? |
Great response because I was wondering the same thing, too. And it sounds like you're talking about the Kinsey scale, I think it's called? It's basically a scale that describes a person's sexual orientation and it shows that there are many gray areas.
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Originally Posted by continuosly blue
I don’t believe that your sexuality should shape a large part of your world.
It’s only as big a part as you make it. No one should flaunt their sexuality on the outside world. And if it defines you , inside , then I believe your missing out on a lot of what makes us human. The many different parts. Can’t people , all , including heterosexuals , keep their sexual preferences in their bedrooms ?
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This comment rubbed me the wrong way because it sounds a lot like when people who are homophobic say things like, "I don't want that in my face" or, exactly as you said, "Keep it in the bedroom". What does "flaunting their sexuality" even mean? Why shouldn't people "flaunt" their sexuality? Why shouldn't we be proud of ourselves in a world that basically wants us dead? And I'm not being extreme because there are still places in this world where being gay is illegal and you can get murdered for that.
My sexuality is a big part of who I am and I honestly don't think I'm missing out on life. Quite the contrary, exactly. When I started being and showing that I was proud of myself, I started getting more confident. My queerness makes me confident because I'm living in a world where people hate me for that.
If that's me, and everyone else, flaunting my sexuality, then it sucks if that offends you, because it sounds like it does.
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Originally Posted by BroccoliOfLife
Hi!
I'm an active Twitter user and I have friends there. Not a long time ago, my asexual friend told me they think being asexual shapes who they are and how they perceive world. I began to ask other people what do they think about that. Some of them stated, that being hetero/gay/lesbian/etc. is a big part of who they are. I'm curious about your opinion on that matter. Please, let me know!
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Thanks for starting this thread. It's a very interesting one, especially since I've heard this before and it's always been a bit of a controversial topic. For me, my sexuality is a big part of who I am. I'm a part of many marginalized communities; I'm black, I'm queer, I'm on the trans spectrum. So I face a lot of discrimination in many areas of my life.
It's a big part of who I am because being yourself is an act of resistance. I'm tired of constantly hiding in my discomfort to make other people comfortable. Just because it's a big part of who I am does not mean I'm not fully living my life. Many parts of my identity are big and very important to me. I'm not going to hide who I am but, unfortunately, that can come with drastic consequences.
Sarahsweets had a great reply and I want to thank them for their response because they're right. Straight people cannot understand what it's like to be queer/LGBTQIA. Being heterosexual is the "standard". They cannot know what we go through on a daily basis, which is why they probably have never had to think about this.