Thinking more about this & kinda on a different line of thought.....
There were behaviors my EX-H had that really irritated me. I thought he was just being irritating in the same way my own dad had been. I judged their behavior against people with no problems because they were never diagnosed with what was really a mental health issue that became clear to me long after they were no longer in my life.
They both effected my life in very negative ways & it was difficult not being judgmental regarding their behaviors that effected me so badly. I honestly don't know if I would have been less intoletant/judgmental of their behaviors if I knew then what I know now. Even to this day I will keep a distance with people whose behaviors remind me of theirs no matter how nice they are. I will be friendly & interface, I am just not willing to become close friends with them.
So I am thinking that maybe some people have been hurt by peoples behaviors that our behaviors remind them of & they may be perceived as judgmental when in fact they are just setting their boundaries in an unnice way. Is our protecting ourselves from others perceived as our being judgmental toward them for whatever reason they may feel?
These questions are wonderful Fuzzy
.....they really start getting my mind thinking