I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, 502041 I understand this must be very hard for you. I completely agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given lots of great advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it if you can and want! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings. I'm so sorry you're going through alll of this. Remember that you ARE worth it and that you DESERVE to get better and to feel loved just like everyone else does! You just need to work on yourself a little bit and on your self-esteem, but you can absolutely make it just the way you are right now! There's NOTHING wrong with you! Please remember that! Please try to reach out to a professional as soon as you can! I also completely agree with BLUEDOVE about trying some self-help books! I feel like that may be really helpful to you and a great way to start working on yourself! Please do consider it if you can and want! I hope things will get better soon for you! You're a strong, wonderful person! Please remember that! You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! Keep fighting! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, 502041! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! You can do this! You've got this! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! Keep fighting! I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this! Just try to do your best! That's all you can do after all and it's more than enough! Trust me when I say that! Trust me when I say that things won't stay like this forever! Things CAN and WILL get better! Things CAN get better! I promise you that! I'm s sorry you're going through all of this! I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this! You don't deserve to go through all of this! You don't deserve to suffer at all! Nobody deserves to suffer at all, certainly not you! We all care about you here! We all love you here! You know we won't judge you! I promise you that! You WILL get through this! I promise you that! Just keep trying and keep believing in yourself and try to get the help you need and deserve, ok?