Not really.

If I would just get up and clean the apartment, I would feel so much better. But I can't even make myself brush my teeth.

I make sure he is clean and fed. I make sure he gets all his meds and keeps all his doctor appointments. I make sure he is kept reasonably entertained. I find shows on TV to interest him. And I even make myself reasonably companionable to him.

But, when I'm not tending to a need of his, I sit and read online. I don't brush my teeth. I don't bother taking some of my meds. I just take pain pills and what I need to sleep at night. I don't open my mail. I don't bother paying my bills on time, even though I have enough in my checkbook to do so. I don't bother combing my hair. I get the dishes done, but the place is messy.

I am depressed. I don't even think having my bf go to a nursing home temporarily would help me.

In the morning is bad. I only get up from bed to give him breakfast. Then this evening was bad. I was weeping, silently, while doing dishes.

I drank some wine earlier than usual, and it made me feel lousy when it wire off. I have no real hope. I think I'm just going to go downhill.

I'm hungry. Sometimes I just eat brown sugar by the spoonful. I'm hungry now. I'll eat something. Hydrocodone is not helping like it usually does. I didn't take the Ritalin today. I forgot where I put it.