Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee
I think his matter-of-factness shows the seam where the way you do therapy as a client butts up against the way he does therapy as a therapist. It's not really about trying to dictate what he says, necessarily. You wanted to experience the emotion and for your aching vulnerability to be seen and appreciated on a deep level. He wanted you to know that he's solid and committed to helping you change, but he isn't going to bring emotion into it like that. So I think it makes sense that you find the contrast jarring. That's kind of a theme or ongoing point of contrast for the two of you. I've had nearly identical moments with my T, and she handles them very differently. Is there something comforting about the predictability of his response at least, though?
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Yes, these are good points, and thanks for sharing. And I brought up some of that to him Thursday (more on that later). He seemed, from what he said...affected by how he's trying to show he's there for me and I'm not feeling it. Felt like some countertransference stuff. So then he also was very explicit in saying things like, "I do care, I support you, I want to be there for you." But it was hard for me to take in at the time because it felt like he was saying it just because I wanted him to. I said how I felt like he was withholding to try to not be like ex-MC, and he said that he wasn't. How he felt like I should have been able to tell, and felt bad that I thought that. I said how it can be difficult for me to trust what I'm feeling, so at times I need someone to say it explicitly. (I tried to avoid the word "explicitly" but couldn't come up with anything else.) He seemed to get it. How sometimes I need it spelled out for me, even though I should be able to read into what he's doing. It felt like a big "aha" moment for both of us.