I love alcohol and cigarettes. I never really had a problem with either until a few years ago. Stress eventually got to me I suppose and I used cigarettes as a crutch. Alcohol started as just a way to have fun with friends as a teenager. I've played in bands since I was 13 and eventually I ended up in the hardcore scene where I live. I started drinking and smoking more especially at shows. It got to the point where I could drink every day at any time of the day. It was never really too bad the most I was ever able to drink was like a bottle of hard alcohol over the course of two days and by the end of that I felt so drunk that I felt like I was tripping on a psychedelic. I bought cartons of cigarettes and had only like seven a day. I woild quit for a few months here and there and start exercising a bunch but then I always go back to it. I was in a period of time where I quit all substance use besides cigarettes because I was homeless and trying to focus on music. I moved back in with my family and met someone I could drink with all the time. They stole their bottles and I fell into that as well. We ended up drinking an entire bottle together in one night some days stealing and finishing two bottles together in one day so I was drinking like a bottle or half bottle every day. I was so hooked on tobacco if I ever didn't have a cigarette I'd collect butts from everywhere I could get a good one and make rollies out of them. At my worst I drank three bottles of tequila in two days by myself and ended up so sick at the end of it that I was throwing up and spitting out blood and ended up in the hospital. I tried to stop drinking but I ignored what the doctor said and just started drinking all over again but my life was spiraling out of control and I ended up in the psychiatric ward a month ago. I stopped drinking for a while but I drank two times with my drinking partner but was pretty good about not drinking at all. I smoked like one cigarette a week. Then this weekend I went to go see my band and watch a show with them and ended up drinking because I figured I could control myself with beer and I don't steal bottles anymore. But I drank two nights in a row and I wanted more today but we just played music all day instead. I smoked a bunch of cigarettes while drinking because for some reason I want twice as many cigarettes as usual when I get super drunk. I went to aa one time a few years ago but the heavy use of religious talk really turned me off to it. Any suggestions on how I could work on stopping or maybe just keeping my drinking to a manageable level that's not dangerous? I feel like I have a hold on cigarettes I know I could quit them if I wanted to but I just don't want to completely quit yet because my life is still so unstable and I've been smoking a lot less this last month. Any tips help even any similar stories I can learn from and any sharing is greatly appreciated.