If we think of the disorders you've mentioned as being on a spectrum, and, if we allow that spectrum to be very broad, with no arbitrary cut-off point (btw - all such cut-off points are arbitrary,) then we probably can place you on that spectrum. This happens to be the direction that modern psychology/psychiatry is going in for lots of disorders/personality types. (We've got bipolar I, bipolar II, cyclothymia. Etc.) There's merit to that kind of thinking, and there's some difficulty with it. But, let's say - for the sake of argument - that you are on "The Spectrum." Let's say a psychiatrist is willing to diagnose you as having ASD (autistic spectrum disorder.) What does that get you? What would you do with that? Where would you go from there?

Those questions, by the way, are very much in the minds of psychiatrists when they are contemplating making initial diagnoses for clients who come to them weighed down by the difficulties of their lives. It is trending now for everyone to want a diagnosis of some kind. Invest enough time, patience and money and see enough psych-professionals and you (along with anyone and everyone) can get yourself a psych diagnosis. There's even a good chance you can pick out the one you want. I am not saying you are just like everyone else. I totally believe you have had great difficulties in the ways you have described. I totally believe you have "a condition." You are right to be concerned and to have someone be concerned about you. Getting a diagnosis of ASD might help you. There's also a good chance it might not. Furthermore, there's a chance that thinking of yourself as "mentally ill" and suffering from a "pervasive developmental disorder" may cause you to live a less healthy life than you otherwise might.

The difficulties you describe are real and tough to live with. They certainly do have a cause, or a set of causes. You are right to want to trace your difficulties to what may be at the root of them. I fear that picking a label out of the DSM is not the most useful way to do that. Ultimately, you want to live a happier life. Getting assigned a diagnosis may do little to get you there. I think you need to look at the important relationships in your life, going back to babyhood and on into childhood and further. Look at what struggles those people in your life were having and how that impacted you. The other useful thing to do is plan to overcome your deficits to some degree by developing your competencies in life, socially and otherwise.

"But wouldn't getting a diagnosis lead to effective treatment?" My answer to that is: "Not really." There is no pill that fixes the kind if difficulties you describe. There is no series of weekly appointments with a therapist that will lead to some life-altering breakthrough. Psychiatrists and therapists will be happy to sell you their services. Go, if you like, and get the diagnosis, the trials of medications and the therapy. Maybe something in that vein will prove helpful in some marginal way. But don't throw away your life living as a "mentally ill person" who needs to be "medically cared for." It won't get you anywhere good. Instead, keep dating and keep trying to hold down a job. Further your education. Get involved in what goes on in your community. Join some clubs. Partake in life as fully as you can. Life has tons of stuff to teach you. Some of the social skills you lack are learnable. You won't learn them in a therapist's office.