I had a bit of a talk with my aunt the other day. She explained some things, trying to explain the statement the other sister had made in regards to my father.
According to her, even though he was abused like the others, my grand mother had an unhealthy overprotective tendency with him, because he'd become prone to aggressive and violent tendency early on (I suspect early abandonment and lack of affection because his next brother was born not even a year later). So instead of letting him figure out things by himself, she'd tell his siblings to do this and get that for him.
This would make sense with his sense of specialness and entitlement later on as an adult. He had this cognitive dissonance where often he'd complain that he was always doing everything for everyone... Yet in his need for control would take over any task that he could do for others.
Another thing that is a little weird is his parenting style or ņack thereof. He was very lax over some things, (the way I looked or dressed, he never said anything much critical), when I started getting piercings and tattoos, he never said a thing about it, my mom was worse than him in that regard... My T thinks he likely had a mix of disorders and it's going to be hard to be sure...