I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, raging vortex and stayingafloat! I hope you're feeling a bit better, raging vortex! Please let us know how are you doing and how is it going! Did you learn to cope with all of this! If you did, perhaps it may be useful for others to share it! If you want to do it of course. You have no obligation to do so! I completely agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've both been given lots of great advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it if you can! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could both learn new ways to cope with your feelings. I'm so sorry you're both going through all of this. it must be very hard and painful! Please don't give! I completely agree with what all the wonderful people in this thread have already wisely said better than I ever could! Feelings are just what they are. They're feelings. It doesn't make you an horrible person and it doesn't mean that you're going to act on those thoughts! It usually means that you're very angry at someone or something. I'd suggest to start working on that if you can and want! Try to reach out to a professional as soon as you can! I'd suggest to talk to a doctor about this and see how it goes from there! Maybe that could help! You deserve to get the help you need and deserve! You both deserve to get better and to feel good! You both deserve to live an happy, fulflling life just like everyone else does! Anger and Depression CAN be fought and I'm sure that you WILL make it! I promise you that! Just try do your best! That's all you can do after all and it's more than enough! I hope you'll both be able to fight these thoughts and to get through all of this" Remember that you're both stronger than your own thoughts! You CAN fight back! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all fo this, raging vortex and stayingafloat! Keep fighting! We all know you can make it! I'm sure you both know it as well even if it's deep down! Keep fighting and keep trying your best! That's all you can do after all and it's more than enough! You're both, strong, wonderful people! You're both stronger than you believe! Please try to believe in yourselves as much as you can! I hope you'll both be able to believe in yourselves the same way we all believe in both of you! Keep trying! We all care about you here! We all love you here! Feel free to vent and write here as much as you need and want! You know we won't judge you! I promise you that! We all believe in you! You're both strong, wonderful people! You're both awesome, strong warriors! We all know that! I'm sure you know it as well even if it's deeo down! Please remember that!