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Old 04-04-2019, 12:22 PM
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Default Re: Sexual problems

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carmina View Post
Amazingly I'm now in a relationship after a very long hiatus. Even more amazingly it seems to be working well, including the sex (which is lots - wow!).

Only one problem, I am not able to orgasm, at least not vaginally and only with extreme difficulty and much effort orally/manually (not always then either, most times it's just impossible; like I've managed it twice in more than 10 times that many 'episodes'). It's not like I'm not aroused, seem to be able to sustain an erection for hours, and I am super turned on, just can't seem to 'let go' and the harder I try the harder it gets (I have this problem with other things too like relaxing or swimming or heights).

I keep telling myself it's good that at least I'm not having performance problems, I am pleasing her very much it seems and very attentive (she says) and also I am well aware of tantra and the idea of orgasm not being the main goal - I am comfortable with that but she is not, she feels somehow that she isn't doing the right things to make me ejaculate and this is getting to her. I want her to feel good about herself and so want to be able to get there, even if for me it's really great despite that, any advice?
Hello Carmina. Good question. Do you watch porn when you masturbate? Regular use of porn can cause changes in the brain which affect how a man is stimulated to orgasm. Perhaps that's not something you use? But if it is, the solution is to go completely without porn every time you masturbate. Eventually your brain will return to its prior wiring and you should be able to orgasm with your partner. If that's not the case, or doesn't help, I recommend consulting with a sex therapist.
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