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Old 04-05-2019, 07:32 AM
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HD7970GHZ Primum Non Nocere
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Default Re: Avoiding. Breaking. Captive.

Originally Posted by Silent_Tears_17 View Post
I'm struggling now like I've struggled before. But I go into therapy and say everything is fine. I dont lie exactly. I just focus on the good things and minimize the bad and ignore the real problems. And I don't know how to stop. And I dont know how to get the help I need.
I'm smart. I'm capable. I work full time and am in grad school. I could be on top of things. But I ignore them instead. I ignore my meds and they run out. Or I forget to take them. But, of course, I don't talk about that either. I'm not trying to seek attention or be bad. I know I could fix it. But I dont. And I know that's bad. I do. But it doesn't change what I do.
I'm starting a spiral again. And I dont know what to do to break the cycle. I'm supposed to break free of these memories that are holding me captive but I don't know how.
Hi Silent Tears,

I re-read your post with a different pair of eyes. The bold states that you go into therapy knowing what the deeper issues are, but that you refuse to talk about them. Your plight is in how you can go about changing that as you feel you're not changing the way you would like.

The first step to changing that is being self aware of it - which you are. (Pat yourself on the back because this is often times the hardest part). The next step is to stop doing it, however, if you feel there are obstacles in the way, the best way to navigate the problem is to ask yourself why you don't just do it.

First thing is to rid yourself of shame surrounding this. It is absolutely normal for those of us in therapy to have walls up to protect ourselves. Not everyone needs to share everything in therapy to move forward, but if you feel compelled to do so - I would suggest asking yourself honestly why you don't want to share those things.

Is it trust issues? Is it that they are too painful? That you feel you aren't ready? That you are scared of change?

Many different hypothetical scenarios.

I hope this helps and I am curious what you think the reasons are for avoiding bringing up these issues in therapy. \

"stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget"
"roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles"
"the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy"
"don't put all your eggs - in one basket"
"promote pleasure - prevent pain"
"with change - comes loss"
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