Sarahsweets - thank you for your kind and generous reply.

I suppose I should have explained myself further. I spent nine difficult years in the Navy years back. It was not a place to be a woman then - especially in what had traditionally been a man's trade (I was one of the first female diesel mechanics and engineers in the Canadian Navy at the time). Some rather traumatic events happened in addition to the daily bullying and harassment. Unwanted touching - which are sexual assaults by definition - happened repeatedly daily. In addition, both of the men I was married to were Army men who not only were abusive themselves but of no emotional support to the daily ordeal I faced at the time. In fact, they found it humorous. The result is I have very little trust of men that seem the type to me. I feel incredibly vulnerable. I have a need to escape.

Since my time in the military our Country has seen combat in various theatres of war. There are a lot of women and men out there with PTSD from such experience and a lot too with traumas similar to mine. I realise this. I realise they are hurting and have their own rights to a supportive group environment. Unfortunately the warning bells in my head go off. Can I trust this person? Are they going to hurt me (physically or emotionally)? And thus I feel the strong need to protect myself which is a shame as I was really benefiting from the group. I honestly have the best of hopes for this fellow who has begun attending. I feel resentment not personally towards him, just to the situation in general.