I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, mattdad! I completely agree with what all the other wonderful people on this thread have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given lots of great, wonderful advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it as much as you can if you want to! I belive there isn't a "specific" way to know whether you've got over the loss of someone or a traumatic event in your life anything else that may have hurt you. It's just one of those things you "know". Unfortunately there's not way to know for sure how it will happen and when it will happen. Everyone has its own way of grieving his/her own losses after all! I also completely agree with what eskielover and sarahsweets have already wisely said about your feelings! Even though you CAN get over some things, that doesn't mean that you'll necessarely be able to completely erase your memories of course! I believe it's perfectly ok to look back at our memorie and past events and cry a little bit. That's perfectly NORMAL and, in my opion, it's even HEALTHY as long as it doesn't interfere with your own life! Memories are our most precious treasure together with life itself of course. It's important to treasure them! Even if you feel like you still haven't gotten over your loss and the divorse of your parents, that's perfectly ok! Just give it time and try to be a little bit more patient! Perhaps it will just take time! Things like this can happen and they are NOT UNUSUAL AT ALL! I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this! Just remember to take all the time you need! Just remember to take it one step at the time! Just remember to take baby steps! Just remember that there's no need to hurry! Keep fighting! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, mattdad!