I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, Monkey1111! I'm so sorry you've been treated this HORRIBLY by your family and parents! You do't deserve to go through all of this at all! Nobody does, and certainly not you! I completely agree with what RDMercer has already wisely said better than I ever could! I'd suggest to listen to him/her if you can and want! He always gives such great advice to everyone! I completely agree with him/her about talking to someone else about all of this and see how it goes from there! Are there any friends or family members that may help you and that you may be able to reach out to? Anyone that may be able to help you? I also completely agree with you about changing meds if the one you're taking is causing you flashbacks! I'm sure your Pdoc will listen to what you have to say and understand you and that he will switch it right away! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings and hopefully he/she will be able to help you with everything that you've been going through and that you're going through right now! You DESERVE TO GET HELP! You're A STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON! Please don't give up! Try to hang on as much as you can! You don't deserve to suffer at all! Nobody deserves to suffer at all, certainly NOT YOU! Of course I'd also suggest to talk to your doctor about this as oon as you can and see how it goes from there! I'm sos orry you've been diagnosed with cancer as well! It must be SO HARD for you and I truly admire your strenght and will! Please try to hang on to that as much as you can! Trust me when I say that not too many people have your same strength and will and that YOU CAN DO THIS! You've got this and you can make it! Try to get a treatment plan for your cancer as soon as you can and apply it rigorously! I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this if you start treating it RIGHT AWAY! Things CAN and WILL get better if you just try to do your best! That's all we can do after all and it's MORE THAN ENOUGH! Cancer CAN be treated and sometimes even cured, so DEFINITELY DON'T GIVE UP HOPE! You can still live a wonderful life and have a bright future ahead of you! Don't let all of this discourage you from trying your best, although I understand it's NOT easy, but YOU CAN DO THIS! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! We're all cheering you on! Please stay safe, stay strong and take GREAT care of yourself like the strong, wonderful person that you truly are, because YOU ARE AND YOU KNOW IT! WE ALL KNOW THAT! I'm sure you know that as well even if it's deep down! Just take GREAT care of yourself and just try to do your best! That's all we can do after all and it's ALWAYS more than enough! Keep fighting! That's the only thing I'm asking you! Just do it for yourself and don't let the other awful people in your life win! Just show them that you're much stronger than them and that you CAN live a good life even without tehm! Keep fighting and keep trying! We all care about you here! We ALL love you here! Feel free to vent and write here as much as you need and want! You know we won't judge you! I promise you that! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! I'm sos orry you have to deal with all of this, Monkey1111! Please remember that you're MUCH, MUCH stronger than you think you are! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! You don't deserve to suffer AT ALL! Nobody deserves to suffer AT ALL, certainly NOT YOU! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT!