She has a heart condition though. It's not like she's going to die in 20 years of liver failure. She could die right now.

Today was another party. This woman (Friend of my moms) was severely slurring her words and my mom said "You're taking the same drugs I'm taking" I hope she wasn't taking benzos while being piss drunk but w/e my mom is drunk too and had the hiccups so she drank water up side down and I thought.. yep.. this is the end she will pass out and die cuz her heart condition and my mom has been saying she was having heart palpitations and the other woman is an alcoholic idk why my mom gave her more wine. My mom was worried that she was hallucinating.

They were talking about how this guy loves my mom and he has a wife and my mom and her drunk friend kept talking about everything in secret except they were shouting. I'm sick of this ********. My mom is supposed to go to the US this year to meet some guy on the internet.

This has turned into the most ridiculous ****ing thing ever. My mom said she needs to go to the hospital and I had to talk her into not having another glass of wine. Now she says she's going to sleep and doesn't need to go to the hospital. I knew this would happen.

She's probably going to take ativan but w/e I don't know how to handle this and my sister isn't helping me she's with her bf.I've had to deal with this **** all my teenage life. My brother left and I still have to deal with it.

My sister is crying because the cats went outside but I think it's because she doesn't know how to deal with what has happened.

My mom snuck a bottle of wine into her room and I had to take it away from her again. It's like she expected me to do that because she says to my sister that I have taken care of it. It's like she wants me to feel guilty if she dies because she has taken care of me by bringing me to the hospital 15 times and taking away my drugs multiple times. If I knew how hard it was for her to that based on what I'm doing now, I would have quit using multiple drugs (like 20 at the same time) earlier.

So now she's going to bed and she better wake up the next morning..