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sarahsweets · Apr 10, 2019 at 08:06 AM

@Have Hope
I think you need a healthy balance between real and online friends (only if online friends are your thing). Personal, real life interaction is very important for any relationship for the most part. I have very, very few online friends that I regularly keep in contact with. One reason is I'm very private, another is once I was badly hurt and it occupied way too much headspace trying to go over what I did or didnt do and if I could have done differently. Feeling hurt then angry and resentful took up too much energy. There's something about the nature of the internet that makes it easy to ignore, and hurt people. The fact that their PC has an off switch seems to get carried over into online relationships and being cruel is "easier".
I have a lot of real life friends and am very social. And they are healthy, positive friends- no takers or selfish ones. I have two best friends.
I guess you could say I am very selective with whom I correspond with. All of them are women. I am married and I know I would never cheat but I do not want to become emotionally wrapped up in anyway with another man and I wouldnt want to make my husband uncomfortable.
Re: depression and selfishness- I think being in the throws of a horrible depression automatically makes you self centered. Not selfish in the negative but wrapped up with, consumed with, always thinking about yourself. How could you not? No judgement from me because I have been exactly that at times.