I feel like there is a difference between a friend, who you sometimes see IRL and a pen pal or someone you only talk to on the phone. To me, something about the face to face connection IRL, sharing some experience together, is what makes a bond of real friendship.

While you do feel like only online people are friends, there’s something not solid in it due to the lack of face to face, IMHO, at least that’s how I feel.

On here, we are friends in the capacity of a support group, helping each other manage our real lives. Some here have become friends IRL, which means they got together in person. This solidifies something in my mind to the level of true friendship.

If you were only online friends for years, you both could have made plans and seen each other IRL. I would have wanted to do that. Maybe you tried but money or time was an issue.

That’s my two cents for what it’s worth.

Also, IME, when someone’s depressed, they are focused on the issue that is getting them down. They may want to talk about it or not. Maybe someone with depression doesn’t particularly have an issue but just depression. In my case, it is an issue that I obsess over and probably am extremely self absorbed.

It’s important for anyone who wants to keep a friend to not overwhelm them with our stuff and talk about their stuff in reciprocation and to show we care about them.