Quote:
Originally Posted by ChaoticEnigma
Yes I do have kids. However the "hot topics" have been settled. Custody and money. We dont want or need lawyers involved. It isnt like that.
More so it is the petty squabbling and jabs at each other. Not in front of the kids. They have no idea yet and it isnt their burden anyways. They are a big reason why amicable is so important to me. There is no option to just walk away and never see each other again.
We had a great friendship and marriage. We dont hate each other. I would simply like to keep it that way. We have changed and grown apart and it is an adjustment for both of us.
My spouse asked me how we keep from shredding each other in response to hurt, changes and stress. I got so far as avoid each other than stalled.
In regards to why I posted in this section it is because main forums get more traffic than sub forums. It was intentionally placed and my preference would be for it to stay here for now. This isnt the throw down, no holds bar seperation we normally hear of. I want to be friends at the end.
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Thank you for the update ChaoticEnigma. I'm a bit confused at this point. If you both want an amicable divorce and the major issues have been resolved without mediation then why are you taking "jabs" at each other, "shredding" each other, and "squabbling?" That does not sound amicable. Am I misunderstanding?
You say the children are unaware and it's not their burden. This will be a burden in their lives. Need not be forever but it will have a major impact on them. The sooner they know the better so you can open a dialogue and help them to process their feelings. Keeping them in the dark would magnify their decreased sense of control and increase their stress. It is not possible for parents to divorce in a vacuum without it affecting their children. The children need just as much support and dialogue, if not more, than the adults. It's unlikely that they don't already know that something is up. Children, including infants and toddlers, pick up on their parents' moods and tension. So even if they don't know what exactly is happening, they likely already feel the tension.
Sorry in advance if I misunderstood you. I wish you, your children, and former spouse peace and good health.