I just can't imagine him having any interest in me. And I've only really had luck not doing the pursuing at all or at least waiting until someone else made the first move.

I just don't see what's so great about being single. The only thing I can think of is that I get to be myself. I don't understand what a relationship is supposed to be like, but aren't you supposed to be able to be yourself in a relationship or is that asking too much? So outside of that, I don't understand what's supposed to be so great about this. Being alone most of the time, not having someone to share things with, not having someone to hang out with on a regular basis. Friends never fill up enough of that time...they're not someone you can talk to everyday and hang out with once (or more a week) because they have their own families etc. And that doesn't make the nights and mornings less lonely.

All I know is that there were brief moments in a relationship where I didn't feel lonely and actually felt accepted and understood. Unfortunately, the latter two were a lie, but it's still better than nothing. I can just go back to daydreaming about being in a relationship.

I don't think I'd even ask for that much in a real relationship, but maybe it is...someone that I can talk to, someone I can hang out with, someone that accepts me, someone I can feel comfortable being myself around, someone I can have a satisfying sex life with. I don't need to get any emotional support, as long as my feelings aren't used against me. I want nothing to do with "romance" so I'm pretty easy that way. They wouldn't ever have to spend anything on me if they didn't want to. I wouldn't have to be #1 priority anyway...maybe 2 or 3 would be nice. I generally just accept anyone for their flaws so they don't have to be the greatest person ever. Just nice.