Dnester honestly the people you need to listen to are the people who are working with you in real life. We are strangers on the internet - random people who could in fact be anyone and not who they say they are at all. We know nothing about you. The ones who work most closely with you are the ones who are most likely to know what is going on for you.

For what its worth not everyone on the forum thinks you should "listen to the chatter". I don't. Only because your experiences are so different to mine, I don't relate to the symptoms you describe at all. |
But remember, when it comes to you and your life I am a nobody and my opinion should not matter to you at all or even be taken into consideration. When it comes to your mental health,. the people it would help you most to listen to are your own therapists. We know nothing about you other than what you type out for us to read, and when it comes to mental health and your psychological well being not a single one of us here is in a position to give you a meaningful opinion about what is or isn't happening with you or what you should or should not do.