I think even without setting expectations, there's nothing you can do to control another person's response to your actions. Literally, nothing you can do. I have to disagree with you that having expectations is wrong. It's actually good to have set expectations. That's the way you set boundaries with people. If people don't know what your boundaries are -- expectations, standards -- then, their behavior can really hurt you. That's why it's imperative to set expectations with people you met online or in person through clear communication with each other.