Hello Momisscared,

thank you for sharing your story. I am not a parent but I was an adolescent with severe depression. Now I'm a healthy adult. The depression is something I understand very well now and can manage independently. I don't take any medication.

I was diagnosed at age 15. It was so severe that they kept trying various meds. The psychiatrist agreed that the meds didn't help. The meds also made me very sick from side effects. Those are some very intense meds especially for a young brain and body. if I knew then what I know now, I would not have taken any meds. They did not help me as an adult either when I tried new ones.

What did help me when I was an adolescent? Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) from a kind and experienced child psychiatrist. I know that in the U.S, psychiatrists tend to only write prescriptions but where I grew up some psychiatrists also provided excellent counseling. I had a wonderful doctor who turned my life around. Looking back, I believe that she saved my life.

Is the doctor saying that your son has unipolar or bipolar depression? That's an important distinction. The two get lumped together a lot under the umbrella term of "depression" but they affect people in very different ways and require different approaches. Mine has always been strictly unipolar.

I think particularly for younger folks, a holistic approach is a great place to start. Is your son open to participating in therapy? I think that could really help him. Also consider his diet, sleep habits, limit screen time (new research on the effects on young brains), physical exercise, any issues at school, any family issues, hobbies, friends etc Unless your son presents with mania or psychosis, I would think of medication as a last resort. See what happens when he has a trained professional to share his thoughts and feelings with....someone who can teach him that he does not have to believe the negative thoughts in his mind.

Although this must be a stressful and confusing time for both of you, please remember that your son is very young and there is hope! You may like to read about the plasticity of the brain. With the right support and approach, your son should start to feel better in time.

If I were you, I would teach him how to meditate. It's a research-based method for decreasing depression and anxiety. There are wonderful guided meditation videos for depression on YouTube. They can also help with sleep. I also recommend researching some male celebrities who live with depression. If there are one or two your son might be interested in or admire, that could help with his sense of self so he's not overwhelmed by the stigma of depression...particularly among males.

There's also wonderful research on the effects of belonging to a group...doesn't matter what size...and I'm not talking about group therapy....just a group with a common healthy goal....people your son can feel connected to. Could be a sports group or some other interest of his. That can help someone to heal and also buffer them against future relapses. I was very isolated as a teenager. I think that was a big part of the problem.

I wish you and your son peace, hope, and a bright future!