Thanks, i didnt think anything of what im saying here could be interesting for someone but im glad the dream was interesting to some of you! . i've been thinking more about it. what stroke me is that i was ok with the life i've had. maybe its the truth. i built it as i wanted it to be even though (or right because of) all the difficulties i've faced.

today was quite ok up to now. i slept well, i watched tv series (but not many and dad forbid me to download more episodes - and i couldnt help but resent him for that because when HE downloads stuff its ok but when I do its not ok anymore? Fuk!), i spent time with my cat and my mom and i even got to work pretty well with the letter im writing to my exT.

Dinner and night seemed already well planned out but family friends just called asking my parents out. im SO fuking sick of them ruining all my saturdays night. i come here at my parents mostly (and also) to be with them and almost every saturday night they go out with these fuking family friends. i hate them so much. they always get to ruin my weekends and even my life because when i compare their lives with ours we always come out as losers (not only me, my whole family!). im so mad now. ok, i'll have more time to work on my exT letter but fuk! all saturday nights. fuk fuk fuk!

ps. yesterday night when P finished his shift i got to wish him a nice week off and he touched my arm and heartedly said "thank you". his voice was so warm, it made me very happy. i'll surely miss him next week. he doesnt do or say much to make my job easier but when he's there i feel better, happier and safer. not sure why…

pps. i did tell my mom my dad doesnt want me here because he's always grumpy whatever i do or say