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Cagedcuddlebug
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Cagedcuddlebug has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 2
3 yr Member
Default Apr 14, 2019 at 04:33 AM
 
I sit here in my husband's big ugly chair. It's comfortable and makes me feel closed in , in a good way. I sleep here now because I have had enough of not getting what I need. I need affection. I need it like I need oxygen. I need to be held. I need to be touched gently. I need to feel loving hands move slowly across my skin, over my face, and through my hair. I need to have my back , and feet rubbed. I need to be kissed, and hugged. To have my hand held and asked to sit in his lap. To cuddle, snuggle, make love. Not sex. Not impersonal. No. I need personal. I need connection. I need love and affection. I need to know I can let myself go with him. I want to be one with him. I don't want to doubt my attractiveness anymore. I want to feel special. I need to be told I'm beautiful. I need to be shown. I don't feel beautiful anymore. I feel ugly and useless. He thinks money will make me happy. I don't care much for money. It is useful but if I wanted dates I would ask. All I want is to be held. I think it's stupid to spend money on dates trying to avoid the main issue. Trying to avoid that I feel empty inside. Money isn't going to be able to fix my heart or my self esteem. I need the man I fell in love with back. He held me and made me feel beautiful, smart , and useful. He always told me that clingy was a good thing,and to be as clingy as I want. Now he tells me that I am needy and that he just isn't an affectionate person. We barely have sex. It's usually impersonal and centered around him. I long for a deeper connection. I long to be comfortable with him. When he lost his affectionate side I lost my body positivity. I feel lost in our marriage. I want to be deeply loved. Our relationship has shifted from loving and affectionate to stifling and resembles the vacuum of space. No oxygen except for what's being pulled from my lungs.
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Hugs from:
AbladeintheMeadow, Anonymous55879, Fuzzybear, TishaBuv
 
Thanks for this!
Skeezyks