what support (if any) do you have regarding this
for example, when people address you, do they use the correct pronouns? (her, she, herself), and have you spoken to anyone professional about this. I know you said it's impossible to actually transition, I'm just wondering if you've spoken to anyone- either about the transition itself and why you want to do it, or ask questions you might have (I am sure you must have a few)
it's a very big life change.
have you always felt like this?