I hate my life
Yet I love my life.

How can I love and hate?
This makes me sick

I feel bad that I may be hospitalized
Yet I'm in grad school

Do I feel safe?
As safe as I'll ever be.

Do I call?
No, I can't.

Things are not that bad.
But the memory of undergad is there

If I'm hospitalized will I survive
What will happen to my program

Will I be gatekeeped from
Doing what I love?????

Gatekeeper a term used for those that are inadequate for counseling programs. I don't want to be a statistic, I want to help people but can I do it in a couple of years, or do I need to postpone?