As the title says that is how I feel. BUT....
If I did I would have lost self respect and trust of people I'm about 37 days without porn or masterbation. And 10 months without oral sex.ive made it this far....

Mentally though my mind is turning on itself... Is this withdrawal or something else? I may never know. But I have a good t that isn't afraid to talk about sexual things in the first meeting.

[Trigger] I'm just so..... I want to harm myself, yet I don't want to. How can this be? [Trigger/]

Did I do that right? I'm on my mobile device. I'm sorry if I remembered wrong. Please someone double check it!! And fix if need be. I think I fixed it.....