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Originally Posted by 1neglectedwife
Hi all. I've come to realize that I can no longer sit back and let life go on without trying to live it once again. I been with my husband for 19 years and for the last 10 he's had a problem with premature ejaculation . Not just occasionally, it is every time. I went into depression that only worsened after losing my son, mom and dad in 3 consecutive years 2014-15-16. The following year, 2017, he walked out on us to play house with a piece of trash. So after finding out he's s been watching online porn 3, 4 sometimes 5 times a week, I lost it and told him the truth, that I've been faking pleasure so he wouldn't feel bad about himself . In hindsight, that bit me in the *** since his inflated ego sent him out to share his amazing "ability" with any who would take it. He said he cheated and watches porn because I don't give him affection and attention, so I guess that's temper tantrums . I told him what I want and what I won't stand for any longer.. My immediate problem is this 10 years worth of blue balls that I myself haven't been able to ease. He will either change his ways or he'll get better at hiding it. Idk know what to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated. He needs to resolve this asap, before I blow. Thanks for reading.
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Sorry you've been having such a tough time NeglectedWife. That sounds very stressful and frustrating. The stop-start method is effective for dealing with premature ejaculation. You can look it up. That said, you referenced 10 years of marriage problems which I think may run deeper than sexual issues. I recommend talking to an experienced marriage therapist either with your husband or on your own if he's not comfortable with that. If you two have been having problems for a decade it could be difficult to suddenly resolve everything right away, yes? Maybe some time and professional support could help you to move forward? There are also sex therapists with specific training on how to help couples move past things like premature ejaculation.
I wish you peace, hope, and a bright future!