Hello ocdedl: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

You wrote that you have thoughts of killing people who abused you as a kid & you wonder who else has similar feelings. I suspect many of us have these sorts of feelings from time-to-time. However not being able to get the thoughts you're struggling with out of your head must be very difficult for you. So I hope that, in addition to coming here to PC, you have the opportunity to talk about this with someone in real life, perhaps a counselor or mental health therapist. My best wishes to you...