Thanks DandL,

I feel bad even talking about my situation, you know that? Your validation is nice to hear. Honestly, the hardest part is feeling like there is nothing to look forward to, and knowing that we're slowly losing the fight.

I know, I mean I really know, there's far worse. I'm thankful I have a good job, I'm thankful I have good kids who try hard at school and who "get it" at home and try to help out. I'm thankful I'm healthy and they're healthy, I'm thankful that, today, we have a roof over our heads and my car carried me into work. I'm thankful that I'm handy at cars and work on the house and I've kept us afloat for a long time, and maybe can a while longer. I'm thankful my wife has never stopped trying to get better or to find answers. I'm thankful that she gives us what she can every day and she tries to be happy through the pain. There are bigger worries than mine. Maybe we'll lose the house. Maybe we'll be forced to down size to an apartment or a trailer home. OK. That's not the end of the world, and I'm still young enough that if that happens, I have 20 years to rebuild and regain what we lost.

Carrying this and not talking about it gets hard sometimes. But I'm glad I do that too. I used to talk to my parents about it, and I see the relief on them since I stopped. They are making their own plans for their life now, and not worrying about me or feeling like I need help. They're good people who have worked hard their whole lives. They deserve that.




Later

RDMercer