I'm sorry you have been through so much trauma Monkey1111. Do you have a therapist by chance? Congrats on the two months clean from Self Harm. That's great! I know the urges suck, and they don't go away easily and they can be downright bothersome. You are away from the people that hurt you now right? You do not need to give them any more power by hurting yourself. You belong to you. No one else. And you don't deserve hurt. HUGS Kit