Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets
How do you feel when someone asks for advice?
|
I know I can't resolve anyone else's problems for her. The most I can offer is camaraderie, particularly if I've had a parallel experience, compassion, my discoveries, and perhaps an idea or two ideas to expand her own problem-solving.
I do my best to stay away from imparting self-importance, authoritarianism, accountability to me, "shoulds," command verbs, instructions, contempt, omniscience, or any suggestion she's floundering while I'm True North. I have a dim view of those who eagerly rush like the fire brigade to offer any and everyone imperious instruction. I personally chafe at "straight talk" which to me has overtones of dominance and contempt.
I believe someone asking for advice is not always as she appears. Sometimes she's dealing with a dilemma with no good outcome. Sometimes she's overwhelmed with challenges from different directions. Sometimes she really wants confirmation of what she already knows.
A few times though I have asked advice from someone I knew who'd stop me from a unwise impulse. The trouble is, we don't know people here.
.
I think the self-examination is whether the advice is truly for the other person or whether to make me feel important.
We each have our own journeys as models. I recall moments of receiving the right observation at the right time. My real life friends often satirize my harassers along with me or diffuse a situation with humor. That can be imparted with a sigh or giggle and difficult to do online.