I really wish I had some helpful answers, but, I just wanted to reply n say, partly, I relate. Certainly to the part that you don't trust in anybody. Lol, I won't start on my trust issues. Whilst I wouldn't say I put things over people, imo, it could be you rely upon things, over people? This is obviously just my own perspective, not an expert by any means Is it something you feel you'd like to work on/through? I personally have as little to do with society but, only because of my issues. It's worth exploring further I'd suggest, and the fact your reaching out, shows you care.

Best of luck n hugs x