View Single Post
rdgrad15
Magnate
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive mental attitude! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
5 yr Member
199 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 16, 2019 at 08:48 AM
 
Has anyone realized that it is easy to see where other people, especially other friends or people we know well, are doing wrong in social situations that make it hard for them to make new friends or maintain them, yet we can't see what we may be doing ourselves that prevent us from making or maintaining friendships? I've seen people I know struggle to make or maintain friendships and I am able to see why. Usually they are too negative all the time or they come off too strong. Also sometimes they force themselves into conversations that didn't include them, and in a couple cases, say things that may be inappropriate or totally unrelated to what was being said, therefore, pushing others away.

Also in some unfortunate cases, they mistakenly think the person or people they are trying to be friends with are closer to them than they really are. I know I've done one of these for sure, which is mistakenly think someone or a group of people like me more or consider me more of a friend than they really did. I would think they actually wanted to be friends with me when in fact they were just acquaintances. But otherwise, I struggle to see what could be going wrong, other than the fact that I have a slight facial paralysis and hearing impairment which probably doesn't help matters.

Meanwhile, a friend of mine will sometimes get upset that she feels rejected a lot which I completely understand and can relate to. I've seen her interact with others and I'm able to figure out why. Sometimes she mistakenly thinks they are closer than they are, which I've done before. I did that a lot when I was in high school but not anymore. But a lot of other times, she will force herself into conversations that originally didn't include her, which I never do. Usually that causes the other people who were talking to give her annoyed looks or just brush her off like she's not there. I also knew someone that was constantly negative anytime something didn't go her way. And she didn't understand why she struggled to make new friends or maintain them.

Yet, other than my paralysis and hearing impairment, I struggle to understand why I can't make new friends or struggle maintaining them. I no longer assume people are closer to me than they really are. I hoped that would rectify the problem but it really hasn't. Clearly there is something else going on too that makes it difficult. Does anyone else have this issue where they struggle to see what they may be doing wrong, yet, they can easily see it in other people? Usually when this happens, it is easy to comfort someone who is feeling rejected and down by giving them hope or just a listening ear, yet struggle to find out what may be going on with yourself and the way you act in social situations.
rdgrad15 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear