Hi @
Unbalancedjo ,
I too have been given a recent bipolar II diagnosis and relate to the tunnel visioned productivity I like to call it!
Anything I put my mind to - I can accomplish in great time and with perfection. Only I can't apply this superpower to anything I want (usually house projects, rarely university assignments, cleaning the house until early hours of the morning). Whatever it is that I am focussed on for the hour/ day/ week/ month - I achieve at an incredible standard.
It's like my productivity skyrockets and nothing else matters - struggling to sleep, make time to eat or do anything else I logically know I should be doing.
But knowing I am achieving this one specific task I have put all of my energy into does give me a eurphoric feeling! It's like a sense of urgency overtakes me and all of a sudden I can see so clearly the most effective way to get something done. Multitasking is a big thing for me too when hypomanic - and with that, distraction.
I don't get paranoid as such, but my anxiety does intensify and make me percieve things differently - like heightened awareness I guess. Except I will see a leaf
is a creepy crawly C running towards me until I snap out, or hear voices of what I imagine others' thoughts are based off their body language and spoken words. Sounds a little strange when I put it like that, huh.
And with your not fitting thoughts in your head. YES! The amount of lists I write for myself to remember great ideas, realisations, things to get done or just a good thought when I'm hypomanic is beyond reasonable. I feel like I am compelled to write them down just to declutter my mind.
My mind is just overflowing with what seems like never ending creative, intelligent thoughts - in hindsight probably just my inflated self esteem talking there, but nevertheless they are never ending!
I too have been trying to grasp an understanding of my bipolar diagnosis - everyone's experiences are always so different on a personal level. Reading your experiences has been helpful to me in understanding and fitting my 'symptoms' into the criteria medical professsionals keep mentioning, so thanks!