I've been working with the same T for 4 years and things have only just recently started to "get real." I broke. I broke broke. My masks came tumbling down and there was no super glue left.. And the weeping dissociated mess she saw on her couch made my T seek additional education on dissociation, where she met someone who she thought might be a good fit for me.

Current T has referred me to a new therapist (who I will see in addition to her) who specializes in complex PTSD, trauma, EMDR, dissociation and DID. I just had a phone consultation with her, and we made a first appointment next week.

I am excited. And I am nervous. And I only joined this forum a couple of days ago. But you guys have already given me hope and strength to go chin up and eyes open into this next chapter.

So thank you. I am also in physical therapy healing from a spinal fusion, and my physical therapist has been very instrumental in getting me to this point. Another big deal. Where I am starting to be honest and allow the scary fear and desire to hide to just be. I mentioned to her that I am a "crazy puzzle" and she said, "Let's reframe that. What if, instead of a puzzle, you are a colorful mosaic? And this is just putting the colors together to create some unique art?"

Mosaic building,
FearLess47