I hate life
I hate myself
I hate people (not the ones I met here, but in general)
I hate doctors
I hate hating everything
I hate knowing nobody cares

And that's just it. I know nobody cares so I don't know why I bother to write this, speak, or even breathe. It's all just a waste. I'm a waste. My life is a waste.

I know. People will probably say that thinking is wrong - if anyone bothers to respond at all. But being wrong is the one thing I am good at. If I give advice, I am wrong. If I ask for help, I am wrong. If I try to join - or start conversation, I am wrong. If I try to do something, I am wrong. If something happens I had nothing to do with - it's me who is wrong. Being wrong is my life. It's the one thing I know as truth. So - it's fine .. tell me my thinking is wrong.

I just wish I was no longer alive bc whatever this is, is not really life anymore. I was lucky. I experienced life for a few years. I broke free from depression. This is so far beyond that though. It's like I'm making up for the lost time and now the things that used to work to help me, no longer do. I sincerely feel like I only appear to be alive to others - yet I know I am truly dead. It's like being dead trapped in a living body. Sounds like it would be good .. except - you have the pain of death and none of the pleasure of life.