Quote:
Originally Posted by FearLess47
Hope2010 I started to laugh because I thought your last line said "I will try to drive BY the gym..."
I laughed only because that is something I used to do! And I would still consider driving by an accomplishment. 
Your post contains the clues you seek.
It starts by stating some valid fears. That you are not alone in those fears. But also not alone.
Recognition of that "fear" of trauma (thinking about it, reliving it, worrying) creates anxiety, which then makes staying home more safe.
Self awareness that it is in the past, and that you are supported now. (Though not blaming yourself, expecting it to magically disappear, etc. Acknowledging the layers.)
Despite all of this, hope for the future.
A declaration that you will make a small goal.
A call to action for us who get it.
Full circle. 
I have/had 17 medical appointments this month...so I am using that as my excuse to hibernate at all other times without apologizing. 
Someone mentioned this...and it's really important - Literally step a toe out the door. Then, self check. Breathe. Then try a foot. Pull it back. Self check. Breathe. (Like, it's Tuesday, it's sunny out, I am safe and I am going to stick my foot out the door.) Try it! Be playful.
FearLess47 |
First all, thank you for making me laugh
Yes, I think to acknowledge the many reasons I am like this it is a very healthy step forward in my life.
I had been there many times, now is just another circle of depression showing out as agoraphobia.
I know I have to keep going out, drive, try to tolerate to be in doctors appointments, even though they make me so anxious.
To be honest, I can't stand the small talks and the constant feeling that they don't know about my reality, that I am someone trapped in her own house by this illness.
I can't just go to the dentist and say "be aware that this is the first time I am out and about in a week". Maybe, it will be fine to tell them, why should I be ashamed of something I have not control over. I didn't ask to have agoraphobia,
I have to make an appointment for mammography. Another for my primary care doctor. Another one with a physical therapist. Of course the dentist too.
You had been in 17 medical appointments this month. We can say that you win this one!
How was your doctor appointment today? the one for your spine.
I hope that went well. Hugs and thank you for this:
Literally, step a toe out the door. Then, self check. Breathe. Then try a foot. Pull it back. Self-check. Breathe.