Crypts ...

I guess it's not quite the same, but I know what it's like to feel like I just can't fit in or cope with this life.

Having not lived your life, I would not presume to tell you your thinking is wrong. I would only say something otherwise to try and help you feel less tormented ...

Maybe this is self-centered, but it's the best objective data point I can confirm: You are not a waste because you really did help me. A lot of people have not. More than a few people have harmed me and did not care.

You listened carefully. You made the effort to understand and go back and forth rather than just latch on to the first thing you were familiar with. You thought it through and tried to help for my sake, despite what you were going through yourself at the time. You did so because you care about other living and thinking beings, despite your own disconnect, disillusionment and despair.

When at your worst you were still far kinder and desirous to help than some people I've had the misfortune to have encountered at their supposed best. That is true grace. And I am fortunate to have known you.

I so dearly wish I could do something to alleviate your pain.