You know, I think that the comment bumped right into my need to do things the right way.

If not crying=progress, then crying=not progress, which means that if I cry then I am not making progress, which means I am not doing therapy right, which means I am doing it wrong.

Which, I understand once it's out in the light, is very black-and-white thinking that doesn't allow for the actual complexity and depth of human experience and interaction. It's like a hidden script running in the background that I can't see, this need to do things "right." Looking at it like that, I understand that my therapist did not mean that at all.

And yet...at least not consciously. There's something there, a small piece, that's coming from her too, I think, but I can't see how much or quite tease out where it is. And I don't really need to, I don't think. That's not the focus of my therapy. It's not even really my business unless it impacts the work I can do in therapy. Human interaction is necessarily messy, even with therapists, and I prefer it that way; otherwise, a therapy robot would work just fine, right?