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saidso
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Member Since: Oct 2018
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Question Apr 18, 2019 at 01:26 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rdgrad15 View Post
Yeah I agree. And yeah, it is very common for people to think some of their friendships are closer than they really are I made that mistake a lot when I was in high school and before that. It can make it seem like they are purposely being rude when in fact they are just simply not as close.

They may like you, but not as close as they do to others. I’ve come to learn the difference between someone genuinely being rude and someone who just simply doesn’t feel close to me but may still like me though. I no longer do that. I’m very careful and I don’t assume friendships are super close off the bat. Yeah friendships can be hard.
Very good point!!! I see so many people on this site believing that people are hostile rather than simply disinterested/ preoccupied elsewhere in their lives. I know myself that I close people out when I'm unable to cope - usually because I'm unable to understand where they are coming from. Living in a city I get bombarded with so many incomprehensible behaviours. "If someone would only explain themselves to me... if someone would only take half a step towards communicating their needs fairly and without anger... then I would be supportive". That's how I honestly feel most days: "just freaking tell me what you need without manipulating/ blaming/ or waiting for me to come over your side of the boundary between us and magically know you".

Of course it's not that easy to communicate. I am just being honest about my own side of any unfamiliar interaction which is usually overload and frustration. I tend to stay with people who are easily comprehensible.

Reflecting further, I myself am often unable to gauge the level of interest of the opposite gender (men in my case). Some men flatter for all sorts of reasons other than genuine intentions of relating. Hmmn, would welcome any feedback on that one!

I like what you write about learning to notice the difference between someone who isn't close to you but still likes you! Like that very much!!! I'm sure that attending to that would improve my relationships also, because it would let other people know that I am sensitive to their emotional boundaries. That's super important in getting closer to someone.

Thank you for posting this thread!!!

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Last edited by saidso; Apr 18, 2019 at 01:39 AM..
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Thanks for this!
rdgrad15