Alot of people will say age doesnt matter but with a man who is 23 and you are 30 I think it does. I think they recently changed the guidelines for adolescence and said that at 23 you are not out of it. I think they said it continues til about age 26. If that is true than it seems to me it played into his personality and his ability to blame you. He might not have been able to help the panic attack but he can help blaming you and being nasty. Its good that you found out early on he would be this way. Do you think he got with his ex again?