I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, yellow_fleurs! I completely agree with what all the other great, wise, wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given lots of great, kind, supportive, wise and wonderful advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it as much as you can if you want! I completely agree with BirdDancer and all the other wise posters about talking to a therapist and see how it goes from there! Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings! Are you taking any meds right now? Perhaps they may be affecting your anger and mood as well! I'd suggest to talk to your Pdoc about all of this and see how it goes from there! Hopefully he/she will be able to help you! He/she's there to help you after all! I'd also suggest to buy a punching bag or anything like that if you need to vent your anger and frustration! Maybe that could help! I'd also suggest to try to practice some physical exercise, sports or maybe even meditation and yoha! They can be helpful for MANY people who are struggling with anger and stress! I'm sure there are many self-help books as well! I believe there are many option if you want to learn how to deal with your anger! I beleive suppressing it may not the best option since it MAY come out at the most inappropriate moments! We CAN learn how to deal with it though! It is certainly NOT easy, but it CAN be done! I'm sure you CAN do this! You've got this, yellow_fleurs! I BELIEVE IN YOU! We ALL believe in you! I hope you'll be able to believe in yourself as much as we all do because YOU'RE AWESOME, YOU ROCK and YOU KNOW IT! We ALL know that! I'm sure you know that as well even if it's deep down! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! You're AWESOME! You're STRONG! You're a WARRIOR! You're an AWESOME, STRONG WARRIOR, YELLOW_FLEURS! You're a STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let us know if there's ANYTHING AT ALL that we CAN DO to HELP YOU OUT! WISH YOU GOOD LUCK! Let us know how it goes! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, yellow_fleurs! Sending many hugs to you, yellow_fleurs!