Last year, I lost my best friend; as she took her own life. She was a year younger than me, and we had known each other since we were 9 and 8 years old.

Over the past decade, our careers have taken off. She was a jazz singer in the UK, and I've been working the arts industry here in Australia. We have both really enjoyed our work - even though I don't get paid for mine and I'm on a pension.

But over the past 5 years, she has changed and been having problems with her balance and been getting tests for things she's told us were for big things. But almost a year after she died, we found out there wasn't anything wrong with her... and I remember she was incredibly vain (wearing make-up all the time, hated wearing her reading glasses, wearing clothes which were young for her and colouring her hair).

It's not yet been a year, and there's a huge gaping hole in my life still. I miss her so much. I've been having problems sleeping and I haven't written anything worthwhile since her death last May (and for me as a writer that's bad - seeing I've had writer's block before and worked through it).
But recently, I'm having a collection of bad days. No matter what I do, how fit I keep myself, how well I eat, nothing seems to be working.

Will the pain and agony of my best friend ease at some point?