Quote:
Originally Posted by FearLess47
Hope2010,
Baby steps! But they add up to so much if we keep chipping away at it...I still get struck by periods of agoraphobia. We live in a city and as you mentioned, it can be a blessing to live in the city because you are in the midst of others living their lives. I can walk out the front door and even just walk a block...and inside I am saying Yay me, for participating with life.
We have stairs in our building. I love walking up them. It seems to clear the cobwebs for my brain, especially when I need to get "out" of the house but I don't want to leave the building. I've made it a little ritual. For each flight up I say something I'm grateful for.
Today I had a 9-month post surgery spine xray. I am growing bone! Not a lot. But more than 3 months ago. Baby steps there, too. Tomorrow I have PT. Friday and Saturday will be all day trainings I signed up for when I was feeling better. I am dreading it now. But I always remind myself, "This will be a memory some day."
Next week, 5 appointments. Eeks! I do not going either. Getting there. Parking. The check in progress. Small talk. Lots of staring into my eyes. I find it hard to stay present but again...knowing it will be a memory soon seems to help calm the dread.
We will march through these appointments together! 
FearLess47 |
I hope your appointment went well. I am glad to know that you are growing bone and go to Physical Therapist. Baby steps as you said so
You have 5 appointments next week and I didn't call to make appointments yet. I guess will take me a little longer than I was expected.
But as we all know, I have to go, so procrastinating is just delaying the inevitable
I am glad you live in the city. I would be doing the same as you if I was ...
My neighborhood is a typical residential area, it is so beautiful but you don't see people often. When I see them, all are walking they dogs, I don't have any animal ( I can't commit to taking good care of them so I don't ) so I felt so lonely when I walk around the ring of my townhome.
My Therapist said to me, why about thinking in the beauty of the place, look at the trees, the birds, feel the sun .... So, I have to do that again now that spring is finally here in Minnesota where I live. To be honest, I don't want to walk around, it is one of the things that frighten me
One more thing to pass over and do it!
My husband is home today, I am not working, disable that is what I am now, I literally can't work for years now. That is something that I can't overcome. I do accept that it is not my fault. I didn't ask for all these mental illness. But I look at all the other people making a living but I just can not.
Of course, I have to think of "what I can do". That is not a problem at all for me.
My problem is the uncertainty of what is going to happen if my husband can't work anymore. How Am I going to help us?
So now, with agoraphobia, I feel more helpless than usually.
Because of that, I keep myself very busy to "Be Present".
With that attitude, I can pass the hours without feeling so miserable.
If someone else passes by, please leave your comment. We are all in this together.
FearLess47, I am having you in my thoughts, sending you good vibes so you can have a good evening after your day out at the doctor's appointment.
We will march through these appointments together!