Thanks for your response. She has not been diagnosed with BiPolar. Her diagnosis has always been depression, anxiety and OCD. Her OCD became so bad at one point that it was debilitating and therapy helped her get that under control. She is going to do therapy, as long as she can find someone who will be able to see her. The insurance situation is absurd - the only therapists she can see are all booked for months. She was able to see one a couple of months ago because she had a cancellation, but can't even get an appointment with anyone there until literally June. We looked and found and organization that has therapists whose fee is about what an insurance co-pay would be, so she reached out to them and will hopefully be able to see someone soon. She does want to get back into therapy. The drinking - I don't know - she's not drinking every day and she'll sometimes go out and have a beer and will just have one - but if she knows she has a day off the next day and wants to go see her friends in the city - it's a sure bet she'll have way too much. She'll come home the next day, not having slept, and be a mess. I have a feeling her impulse control just goes away when she's had too much to drink. I don't know if this is an addiction, or just wanting to join in on the fun when everyone else is drinking. The fact that it goes to the point where she'll do irresponsible things is what bothers me the most. I grew up with alcoholic parents and it triggers every button I have. I have seen how hard it is to regain sobriety when it gets to the point of addiction and I don't want her to let it get that far.


We have not asked her to pay rent, as she's trying to save a few thousand dollars in order to be able to go abroad to teach. Unless she gets her mental health managed, however, that would probably be a disaster anyway. Her whole reason for moving back in with us was to save money and get herself to a healthier place. She recognizes what is wrong, she just doesn't seem to have the discipline to move forward with trying to correct it. And she IS doing better - however, I fear she'll end up losing her job because of it and then she's back to square one.


I have considered telling her that any drinking whatsoever is unacceptable as long as she's here. She feels embarrassed and ashamed of living at home and working in a bakery at her age, and constantly compares herself to other people. I keep telling her that people change courses in life at many ages, and lots of young adults have to go home for a while to get back on track. She's just not living the life she, or anyone, expected she would be at this age. To be honest, I think she is a little emotionally immature - she's sort of lived like she was still a college student for the past few years and now realizes that it was a mistake. For me, that would be the motivation to make changes. For her, I feel like I'm giving constant pep talks to try to get her moving on.


I appreciate your insight, it does help.