Hello maria: I believe this is your first thread here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. Yes, I know what you're writing about here. Much of my life is this way. I don't know if I have much to offer in the way of encouraging words other than to say that time does have a way of lessening the pain.

There are a lot of great articles, in Psych Central's archive, on the subject of how to manage emotions. Here are links to 6 of them:

Understanding What Your Emotions Are Trying to Tell You

How to Sit with Painful Emotions

How to Actually Sit with Sadness

A Technique for Feeling Painful Feelings

8 Creative Techniques to Cope with Painful Emotions

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/culti...nful-emotions/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.