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star68
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: uk
Posts: 7
5 yr Member
Default Apr 20, 2019 at 05:55 AM
 
Hi everyone,

I hope someone can offer some advise.

My daughter is in her early 20's she has always been a very loving, dedicated student, never had any trouble with in her, we were always very connected and understood each others feelings very well. My mother was a big part of our lives too, and when she died two years ago we were deeply affected by it.

I year after my mother died I moved with my family to another country. My daughter started to use a dating site and met her first ever proper boyfriend. They lasted 6 months and straight away she went back to the dating site and met someone else. This someone else has brought trouble since the early stages of her relationship with him. He almost became homeless twice, he changes jobs often, always ends up with no money I don't like him and my relationship with my daughter has changed tremendously. We are constantly arguing, she doesn't listen to my advice, she has little work despise having a degree, she lost her ambition to achieve a good job, and she doesn't accomplish her responsibilities at home.

I feel like a monster because I am constantly telling her off, and I feel like I am a control freak of a mother, but all I want is for her to realize that she's in the wrong relationship, that the guy is plainly lazy, and he's not a good influence for her. She keeps telling me if he has trouble keeping jobs and running out of money it's totally his responsibility not hers, but I want to make her understand that if she really loves him she should at least advice him and guide him if she would like some kind of future with him.

She seems very indifferent about my advise, she keeps apologizing , because she has become very unreliable, but nothing seems to improve much. She is due to start a full time job in May so hopefully things will improve.
He's out of work at the moment and rents a room in his mother's house where he lives with other tenants, his mother lives abroad. He only moved to his mother's house recently, he didn't trust him enough before that but she is giving him another chance but he's spoiling it already. There is another spare room in the house that the mother told him not to rent and he's secretly renting it and getting an income from it so he's not in a rush to look for work. I tell my daughter that if this isn't enough prove that he's not a genuine guy, what is, but she doesn't seem to care much about it.

I just can't detach from this situation because I expected my daughter to be a bit more selective with boyfriends and I keep hoping that something will make her realize that he's not suitable for her, but nothing seems to put her off going out with him.

Has anybody gone through same or similar experience with their daughter or son? How did you deal with it? Thank you.
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