Tossing some stuff out here. I'm sure you've thought of all this, but I'm not sure what else to suggest ...

Maybe there is something slightly missing or off in your instincts?

That's very common. I only started to trust my instincts more because I had better results when I did compared to other people's evaluations. So it was based on eventual experience, not blind assertions that I should trust myself. If nothing else, I guess I'm more in tune with what's compatible and what would be problematic for me. I guess I'm fortunate that way compared to many here. But I certainly don't assume anything and take time.

Maybe you're interpreting their behavior in a way they don't intend, and assuming thoughts that may not be accurate?

For supposedly social creatures, humans are surprisingly bad at communicating with each other.

Maybe you've had bad luck with a small circle of acquaintances?

When you're different than most, it's really hard to find people that are a good match. If you're like me and have few interactions and available people to choose from, the numbers are against us.

One other thing, if I may. It seems to me that you prefer to problem solve and take a philosophical approach to life in your conversations. You said don't enjoy idle chit chat and banter much. In my experience, most people don't want deep thought-provoking conversations very often -- if at all. Mostly they just want to get through the day with a laugh or two, a distraction, and a little emotional connection. Sadly, this may make finding compatible friends harder for you. I'm not suggesting you should have to change or anything. I merely thought I should mention it.

Finally, most of us here try to put on a brave face and not be negative in public. But, lets face it, that's probably not very convincing when we are in so much pain some days. I'm sure going around possibly being perceived as Grumpy Cat or Sad Sack isn't helping us, although simply being told not to do that without support is hugely unhelpful.

I dunno. It's really tough, and probably none of this was helpful. But I want you to have someone to talk to.